absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
