You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
