erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
