It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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