we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
