I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
