i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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