Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
