Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
