sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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