My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
