Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
