smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
