We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
