He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
