Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
