her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
