I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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