What a fucking waste of an outfit
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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