What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
