no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
