And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
