as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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