when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
