oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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