"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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