dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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