Define "chronic" masturbator.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
