Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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