Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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