let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
