3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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