Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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