i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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