I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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