it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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