So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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