I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
