Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
