Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
