Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
