just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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