I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
