Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
