I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
