my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am mentally ready for anal.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
