i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You dont lie about slip and slides
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
