my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
