I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
