You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
your like the ambassador to my penis.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
FUCK WHALES
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
