She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
