i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
