if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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