all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
