yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
