i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
