We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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