come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All the doctor said was why
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
