They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
