DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
