Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize