every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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