How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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